Today I sent my manuscript into the competition I’m entering and now I feel a great sense of relief.

Not that it’s finished. I don’t think it is, frankly. More that I’ve set it, and myself, free.

This is a manuscript that I actually first started writing about twelve years ago. It’s something that I’ve picked up and put down countless times since then. Which means that I do have confidence in it. For something that I started writing as a 19 year-old to still hold my attention in my 30’s can only be promising. The core story and even large chunks of the first few chapters are almost completely intact from when I first submitted them in a creative writing class in 1993.

Other things I wrote in 1993 make me cringe now, so I feel that this piece is at least not bad.

It is also basically the only piece of writing I have been working on since about November last year. Which is highly unusual for me, and has taken a lot of discipline. I’m usually jumping from one piece to another. They’re all long pieces, but I work on them in bits and chunks as the mood strikes.

As a result, by the time I actually finished with the writing on this piece about 10 days ago I was way too close to it and no longer had any idea what it’s lacking or what is great. But that will always be the case to a certain degree, so I was happy enough just to send it off and wait and see what happens.

Of course, having my computer stolen did put a little crinkle in the works, but nothing that wasn’t fixable with a few late nights in the office madly copy typing the final round of edits.

I am also surprisingly relaxed about what the outcome, or lack of one, may be. Perhaps because the winners aren’t announced until September, so there’s no point in getting anxious about it now. But I don’t actually think I’ll be anxious about it at all. Which is strange given that generally I’m nervous about anyone reading my work. Maybe I’ve just reached that stage where this particular manuscript needs to be put out into the world and I can see that and feel content about it.

The other half of the relief I’m feeling is that I can now go back to working on other pieces. On the good, bad and half-formed ideas that popped into my head while I was working only on one piece. On the things I was alternating between before. I feel liberated from writing discipline for at least a short period of time.

Of course, the lack of a computer does put a fairly substantial crimp in that plan.

And I have no doubt that as soon as I get a new computer (please let that be soon very nice Mr Insurance Man) I will come down with a crippling case of writer’s block. But that’s okay too. All my new DVDs will have arrived by then.

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In site related news, I’ve been getting some interesting search phrases in my referral logs. Including “how long is a piece of string”. Hmm. I’m not sure I can provide the answer that this searcher seeks.