My take on the Oscar fashions – because I know you’re dying for another opinion.

My overall impression is bland. Principally in terms of colour. Style was generally pretty good, but the continuous stream of nothing colours – particularly following the glorious parade of colour at the SAG awards – was pretty disappointing.

That being said:

Does Renee Zellweger feel that she’s so unlikely to get married that she has to dress as a bride on the night she’s certain to win an Oscar?

Of the other whites I liked Diane Lane’s, Angelina Jolie was meh – but I don’t think she’s the type who will ever look convincing in a big gown, so it’s the effort that counts – Uma Thurman’s was a little odd, but I didn’t hate it, and Sandra Bullock is another one of those who never looks remotely comfortable in a gown and while the top of hers was simple I just don’t understand the layered poufs on the bottom. Vanessa Paradis’ vintage Chanel was great for her but probably wouldn’t work on anyone else.

Of the neutrals I liked Naomi Watts’ the best – it seemed to have some texture as well as sparkle. I’m not at all sure what Charlize Theron had done to her skin, but wearing such a neutral dress only made it stand out more. Julianne Moore, Patricia Clarkson, inoffensive. Julia Roberts didn’t quite look comfortable in her dress, though I quite liked it and it gave her some curves.

Speaking of curves, where the hell did Catherine Zeta-Jones go? The dress had colour going for it, but she seems to have shrunk so that it wasn’t nearly as convincing as some of her previous efforts.

I didn’t really go for any of the pale blues/greens. Nicole Kidman’s was practically an x-ray thanks to cut and fabric, Annie Lennox was another not looking comfortable in a gown although the dress itself was ok and Jada Pinkett’s looked very bit-ty.

The full blues – aka boob dresses – of Marcia Gay Harden and Jamie Lee Cutis both deserve to go straight back to whatever closet in hell they came from. Scarlett Johanssen’s bluey-green was much better in terms of colour and style, and she looked comfortable in it.

Then there were the relatively few darks. Robin Wright-Penn was another that looked inoffensive but too skinny. Susan Sarandon looked good, but I preferred her Golden Globes dress. Liv Tyler is supposed to be this fashion queen, but I very rarely like what she wears and this was no exception. Sofia Coppola looked good, and like she’d gone for something she was comfortable with rather than leaping up to the hype of the evening.

Jennifer Garner looked good, the bangs suit her, but again, I liked her SAG dress better.

Diane Keaton will forever remain Diane Keaton, and that will forever give us fashion that makes you go “hmmmm”.

That is my two cents worth, and for the record I’m wearing black pants and a bubble-gum pink v-neck sweater.