INXS, what are you thinking?*

I know you feel that you need a new lead singer - and after the depths of Terence Trent D�arby and the not-really-international-star-power of Jon Stevens, I can�t really disagree - but is it really necessary to find one via a reality TV show?

Have you exhausted the pool of INXS cover bands at pubs all over Australia, New Zealand and the world? Or is there no longer such a pool? Do you figure that you�ll never actually have a paying gig again, so this type of revenue model is the best one to pursue?

I have such fond memories of INXS, from the very early days of The Swing to the biggest band in the world days of the late eighties and the Kick tour when we could still get tickets to their stadium show for $30 because they were Australian, even if they were the �biggest band in the world�.

I wore my Kick concert t-shirt until it turned to rags and then I still used to wear it while experimentally dying my hair in the bathroom during my unfortunate experimental hair-dying period, aka the university years.

I remember the day Michael Hutchence died, even though by that point I only had a passing interest in their music. (Side note: I also remember the day Elvis died, even though I was only 5, although I have no recollection of hearing that John Lennon had been shot).

This was back in the heady days (ha!) of 1997 when I was still a Trainee and Smurfette was stuck in retail hell and had to work weekends. This particular hot summer Saturday Smurfette was at work and Nathan and I were sitting at their place watching the cricket when the telecast was interrupted with news that they�d found Michael�s body.

When Smurfette called us a short time later to remind us to get up off our lazy arses and do the washing the following conversation took place:

Nathan: INXS won�t be putting out any more albums.

Smurfette: Ok. Make sure you separate the whites and the colours.

Nathan: No. You�re supposed to ask why INXS won�t be putting out any more albums.

Smurfette: (Weary sigh) Ok, why aren�t INXS putting out any more albums?

Nathan: Because Michael Hutchence is dead.

Smurfette: Really? Now, what did I tell you about the whites and colours?

She was eventually drawn into the questions of suicide verses auto-erotic asphyxiation, but only once we could confirm that all the washing was done and not all pink.

I do feel sorry for the other members of the band. They lost their charismatic if increasingly odd lead singer, and obviously none of the rest of them can really sing, even if they can still write the songs. I can understand them still wanting to play and be successful. But reality TV? Really guys, couldn�t you put your considerable talents to a more productive use than filling Mark Burnett�s pockets even further?

Sure, you�re not grasping on to your fame with the same death-grip desperation as, say, Vince Neil, but isn�t a face lift or five just a step away?

Though, I guess that it must be nice to still be big enough that an American reality TV producer is willing to work with you, as opposed to having to launch something here at home. Which, let�s face it, would turn out to be a not-really-glorified search of the INXS tribute bands in the pubs of Australia�

*That�s a Yahoo link, so who knows how long it will be there.