I was at a conference yesterday and the moment I registered I was confronted with one of the biggest annoyances faced by women in the work force.

Name tags.

The little plastic pockets surrounding a piece of cardboard with your name on it. The ones that come with a clip which cannot be adjusted and a safety pin with which to ruin your clothes.

If you don�t wear a suit with a top pocket, or a shirt with a top pocket � do you know many women that do? - you have no choice but to pin the damn tag to your clothes. Creating little holes in my crisp white cap-sleeved shirt, threatening to tear my cute blue cashmere sweater, pulling at my black turtleneck.

I hate those tags.

I don�t wear a suit very often (okay, at all � I still own a few but haven�t worn one in at least three years), and I do not own a jacket of any kind that features a top pocket suitable for clipping the tag to me using the actual clip. Nor do I want too. I have very few jackets that even have collars sufficient that I can turn the card with my name on it upside down in the holder and clip it on the bottom of my collar without it being lopsided or constantly hitting the bottom of my chin. And those I do own I usually want to take off when I�m sitting down inside a conference. I don�t own any shirts with top pockets either. After all, I�m a woman!

There are a lot of us attending conferences these days, you know. Corporate name tag makers, are you paying attention? Conference organisers? Women. We work. We�re professionals. We don�t like having to pin nametags to our sweaters and shirts and jackets.

I once even went to a Women in Business lunch where they gave us those stupid tags. You would think they�d know better.

And anything would be better. A sticky label with my name on it in texta would be infinitely better. I could stick it on my forehead so people spent the day looking at my face rather than my chest. And I wouldn�t risk ruining my clothes.

I always have immediate respect for conferences where they hand out name tags that come with the little clips and a cord to hang around your neck. They�re cooler, and more practical, and not dangerous to my wardrobe. I don�t even care if the cord is fluorescent and clashes with my clothes. That�s a small price to pay. Bring on the cords.

I didn�t bring yesterday�s name tag back to the office with me, partly because there was an organiser standing at the exit to the conference hall who wouldn�t let any of the three hundred odd delegates leave until they�d handed over both evaluation sheets and name tags, and partly because I already have a drawer full of them. So far as I have been able to determine those tags only have one practical use: when I�m desperate for a safety pin � to hold up a hem, or jerry-rig a broken zip - a little bit of dexterity can extract the pin from the clip to be put to better use. I�m well practised at it now.

So well practised that although I returned my tag yesterday, before I handed it over I exacted a small revenge by removing the safety pin and throwing it in my bag for future emergencies. It won�t be going anywhere near my cashmere though � or any part of my chest.