More specifically, neighbours having loud sex.

I have two sets of neighbours fond of having loud sex. One at home, and one at work.

That�s right, work. I can be sitting diligently at my desk in mid-morning, or mid-afternoon, when floating down in through my (usually closed) window, comes the sound of at least two of the neighbours having a good old time.

I work in the middle of the central business district. On the 10th floor of a high rise building.

Two or three years ago they turned the office building next door to ours into apartments. That was a noise disaster in and of itself: for a year and a half there was constant construction going on next door while we were trying to work. On more than one occasion I had to, just had to, go out for coffee so I could get work done in the coffee shop that was impossible in the office.

It�s a huge building. Twelve floors, stretching the entire block, all filled with apartments. Between my side of our building and the apartment block there is a well, for want of a more accurate description. Our glazed windows look out into the hole, as do the non-glazed windows and some balconies of some of the apartments. If we open our glazed windows, we can see straight into their non-glazed ones. Not that we do that. Very often.

The main problem with the well is that it is a sponge. Sound, and smells, get stuck in there. So at various times today alone I have experienced the delicious smells of someone�s lunch, Asian stir-fry of some variety I�d guess, had to listen to Robbie Williams seeking �real love� on repeat, and a couple (well, I assume a couple of some sort) in one of those apartments really enjoying themselves.

Enjoying themselves with almost the same vigour as my neighbours at home.

My house has one common wall. A wall that is triple, if not quadruple, brick. Our neighbours for many years were a young professional couple who started having children that cried a lot and woke up whoever had the one bedroom on that side of the house (not me). A year or more back they moved overseas for work and rented the house out to another couple who we have never met and don�t know at all.

Up to a point.

They have no crying children. They do have really loud sex. She, in particular, is what can only be described as a moaner. Saturday and Sunday mornings at around 11am are a very popular time for this activity. We know this because our living room is on that side of the house. And Saturday and Sunday mornings at around 11 are quite common times for our household to be lazing around in our living room eating breakfast and watching The Simpsons and generally avoiding getting started for the day.

Sitting there peacefully, half asleep, minding one�s own business, and suddenly it starts. Meg Ryan in the deli. And generally we have no choice but to sit there listening, sharing and avoiding the awkward glances that come with listening to sex while sitting in a room with someone to whom you have no desire whatsoever to say �I�ll have some of what she�s having�.

And unlike with my work neighbours, I then see my home neighbours on the street, while getting the mail or putting out the bins, and smile in a neighbourly fashion suspecting they have no idea that I know them quite a bit better than they think I do.

Oh crap, now Robbie is at it again. Not like that.