The Eyes Don�t Have It

Well, the time has come. My increasing hatred of my current glasses frames, the fact they�re really beginning to fall apart, and my really sore eyes have finally combined to overcome my overwhelming hatred of shopping for new frames and I went out to select new frames and implement the new prescription I got several months ago.

I hate shopping for frames. Not least because the whole point of having glasses is that you can�t see, so therefore when you take your glasses off to try on new frames you can�t fucking see them!

So I dutifully put in my contacts yesterday morning so I could go frames shopping, and you can imagine how happy my sore, tired eyeballs were about that. They�re still not happy about it actually.

This time I am determined to buy something different by way of frames. A new, more fashionable style. I�ve been a spec-oid for about ten years and no matter what my intentions with respect to changing my look I always seem to come home with a slight variation on my old frames. They�ve got smaller over the years. And more oval than round, but pretty much that�s it.

But the thing is that this happens because nothing else suits me. Square doesn�t work because, I think, my face is too round. And darker, heavier frames that look funky on other people also don�t work. Mainly because they�re too dark, and as I discovered yesterday, are usually plastic all-in-one frames that don�t have the little rest/pad things for each side of your nose.

I did not make the connection between the nose pads and the glasses that looked good on me on my own. But after almost an hour of hopeless trying-on, I was frustrated enough that I actually went to speak to one of the very helpful staff, who picked up on the problem immediately. The bridge of my nose is apparently quite low, which makes glasses without nose pads sit too low on my face, missing my eyes and making the darker frames look heavier than they are. So I have to ditch the hope of the funkier frames and make sure I get the nose pads.

This realisation set me to thinking about my shopping habits. I like to shop. I shop a lot. It�s my favourite holiday activity. It�s one of my favourite non-holiday activities. But I like to shop alone.

If I go out shopping with friends or travelling companions I am rarely likely to buy anything unless we�re going to look for something for a specific event and really have no choice. Smurfette and I have been known to do that for weddings we have to attend. But other than that all my best shopping is done alone. I may even see something when out browsing with friends and go back to try it on and get it when they�re not around.

And this self-contained shopping extends to the staff as well. If I�m in a dressing room and someone comes by to ask how I�m going the answer is always �fine�. If I need another size I often go as far as to go out of the dressing room to get it myself, rather than ask the person right in front of me to get it for me. I�m also unlikely to ask if they have an extra item out the back or anything like that. If I don�t see it, I don�t ask for it. Shoe shopping is basically the only shopping � other than major electrical appliances � where I ask for assistance, and that�s just because they don�t keep all the sizes out front.

I�m not entirely sure where this comes from. I did work in retail for many years while I was at uni, but I don�t think it�s born out of a resentment of customers seeking help because I�ve always shopped like this. Sometimes when I�m with friends it may come from a sense of not wanting to hold everyone up while I try on stuff.

But I have the feeling that at the heart of it is that I want to make my own decisions about things without considering, and therefore worrying about, other people�s opinions. Even if they�re just the sales clerk who I�ll never see again. I don�t want someone to say �oh that looks great� or even �I�m not sure about that�. I want to make those decisions myself. And sometimes they�re crappy and sometimes they�re great, but 9 times out of 10 I�m then comfortable with whatever I�ve bought regardless of whether its objectively a good find or not. And I think that�s pretty important.

I guess it�s also one of my own forms of therapy. Quiet time when I don�t have to talk to anyone or hold anyone up or think about anything in particular. I can just roam with my bags and try on as many ridiculous things as I want and be happy.

I do miss out on some good advice as a result though, as I learned with yesterday�s frame shopping experience. And while I still hate frame shopping with a passion as hot as a thousand suns, next time I�ll try to only spend ten minutes finding my feet in the store before asking for help.

And the new frames: slightly darker and squarer than the old ones, but still a bit rounded and with the all important nose pads. I pick them up next week.

But new glasses or no new glasses, I�ve decided that the reason why my eyes are sore and tired all the time is just over-use. When you break it down and take all the froth off the top, at its heart my job is reading and writing, with some simultaneous thinking thrown in for good measure. Reading and writing all day can be pretty hard on the eyes. But this is exacerbated by the fact that I also enjoy spending a lot of time out of work reading and writing, with a healthy dose of watching TV thrown in. And as much as I also like shopping and drinking, I�ll be broke and comatose pretty quickly if I give up the reading and writing in favour of those to give my eyes a break. Though I guess that would give my eyes a break..