D�oh

Have you ever noticed how everything in life can be related back to �The Simpsons�?

Have you ever noticed how many times this question is asked?

Someone asked it on a TV show I was watching recently, though I can�t remember which one. Nathan, having killed several thousand brain cells with the cause of � and solution to � all of life�s problems, recently asked it about 5 times in as many minutes not realising he was repeating himself. The first time we agreed with him, the second and third times we laughed at his clearly still-drunk-the-next-morning state, every time after that Smurfette, aka Mrs Nathan, told him in no uncertain terms to shut up.

Of course Smurfette is sometimes also known as Hootie. Not as in the Blowfish, but as in Hootie McBoob, closely related to Chesty LaRue.

We have been known to have conversations entirely made up of Simpsons free-association. These are usually triggered by either �That�s just like what Bart did in that episode where�� or someone having a particular tune in their head �Hey there, Blimpy Boy��.

This also works quite well with Seinfeld (�Believe or not George isn�t at home��) and Monty Python (�Run away, run away�).

But it works best with The Simpsons, probably because if you live in my area and have cable it can be a lot like that episode of The Simpsons where they show the Fox Network executive with the network schedule made up entirely of episodes of The Simpsons and The X-Files. Except they don�t show Mulder and Scully that much any more. But there�s Super Simpsons Saturday, Super Simpsons Sunday, at least two episodes every day between 6 and 8.30pm, plus Super Simpsons Monday-Friday during the summer and any school holiday period. Not to mention what�s on the regular network.

And if you�re about my age (*cough* 30 *cough*) The Simpsons first aired when you were at university and you have been watching for 12-odd years straight and have, just by osmosis and the above programming schedule, seen every episode 45 times.

Betty has a habit of watching the beginning of almost every episode that comes on and foolishly saying �I don�t think I�ve seen this one�, which is quickly followed with �Yes, I have, its just that the beginning is completely different to the rest of the episode�. As it always is, was and shall be.

So we�ll be sitting around the table at dinner and someone will mention that the food is �excellent� and someone else will be off, steepling their fingers and repeating �excellent� C. Montgomery style and then the whole table will get going. If its a larger gathering, several minutes, a few gurgled American cheese�s and a reference to Monkey Butlers later someone may occasionally notice a guest staring blankly across the table and we�ll realise with horror that they have no idea whatsoever what we�re talking about.

These strange beings are either an odd breed that�s never really watched the show, or an even odder one that doesn�t own or watch a TV. Weird. Upon realising there is such a being in our midst generally we discuss the weirdness of this for a while and then degenerate back into a rendition of �Luke, be a Jedi tonight...�

And yes I know its sad. And yes we watch too much TV. But we do so with a certain pride. And out of habit. Because even if there�s 50 channels and nothing on, there�s always an episode of The Simpsons to keep us occupied.

And I suspect that my friends over at Damn Hell Ass Kings (they don�t know they�re my friends but reading them partly inspired me to start this blog, so I thought I should give them a plug) might be able to relate. Monkey Butlers indeed.